Thursday, 9 May 2013
Milestones and memories
In four hours time it will be my mother in laws funeral. I will not be there because it is on the other side of the world. When my husband went to be with his mother for the second time this year, he didn't know that three weeks later he would be leading her funeral. It feels so wrong to be so far away. All our friends have been very kind and supportive. It is difficult to explain that I want to hide away and not talk. Life is expected to go on, and it should, it has to, but of I'm really honest, I am living emotionally in a dark cave at the moment, and I would quite like to stay there. On the outside I am still engaging with the world, but it is a pretence. On the inside I have holed up in a secret compartment, and I'm not coming out for a while.