Malaprops

I was recently sent a book of mixed up proverbs/sayings. I thought I’d post a few, as they’re rather good. I’ve made a few suggestions of who should have said them.

Madonna “Brevity is the soul of lingerie” (Dorothy Parker)
Bart Simpson “Children under 12 must be accompanied by money” (James Dent)
Condoleezza Rice “I came, I saw, I concurred” (Irvine H Page)
Paul Burrell “Comment is free, but facts are on expenses” (Tom Stoppard)
Sheikh Mohammed al Maktoum “The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction.” (Ryan Showers)
Richard Branson “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a delay of three hours” (Milton Berle)
George Bush “Ready, fire, aim” (Spike Milligan)
Tony Blair “If at first you don’t succeed, do it the way your wife told you to.” (Yvonne Nepper)
Michael Palin “I’m pink, therefore I’m Spam” (Stephen Griscom)