Grand Designs or Grand Marnier

We are about to have our lives turned inside out. We have building plans sitting with two builders for their quotations. When I wandered into my favourite chocolate shop today, it was enough to make me consider the ones with the vodka filling – at least 6kgs of them!

I don’t know how I’ve managed to reach late middle age and this to be my first building project. I just know that the last time we had a builder near the house, I was like a bird who had had her eggs stolen. He did a magnificent job of making a walk in closet in our bedroom. It took less than a week, and I was a wreck. In fact, I wasn’t even in the country for part of the work, as the builder managed to squeeze in this small project when I was visiting my parents.

The next project will take at least 6 weeks! It involves digging 2m holes, building retaining walls, moving tonnes of earth from one side of the property to the other, building a new side to the house and an extended driveway. Oh yes, and removing deck around most of the property to redirect storm water.

I feel for the cats. Our male cat hides under the bed when the gardener comes to mow the lawn. He is going to need sedatives to deal with all the banging.

Oh and did I mention, we may have someone coming to lodge with us at about the same time?
I have a cunning plan – large quantities of liqueur filled chocolates for me, valium for the cat and a strait jacket for the lodger.

Flower beds

Just in case you thought I was showing favouritism to the “derriere washer”, here is her brother, adopting a very Otto like pose in the lobelias.

Due to blistering temperatures yesterday he flaked out under the bed. I could see the tip of the tail wrapped around the linen box. He emerged at 4pm, strutting like a gentleman toff and demanding high tea.

I admit it, I am their slave.

Ms Cookie and the Lily

My jet lag seems to have been delayed rather spectacularly. The first four days home, I was as fit as a flea, ran around doing everything and nothing.

For the last week, I have been swimming through viscous custard. The heat hasn’t helped. After 3.5 years of living in a cold climate, I think my blood finally thickened. Now I wilt, lettuce-like, at every hint of sunshine.

Cats definitely have the right approach. When hot, lie down. In fact “when anything” lie down and play possum.

The attached photo was more for the lily than Ms Tortie washing her derriere. I have had a random rush of lilies in the garden, which I didn’t plant AND WEREN’T THERE last year.
I suspect I may have fairies at the bottom of the garden.

Pierced body parts

Question: When is a toe nail not a toe nail?
Answer: When the nail is THROUGH the toe.

Yes, I ended up in the A and E department of our community hospital just before lunch. The sequence of events were as follows: Return from Farmer’s Market to discover our amiable tom cat in a part of our property he doesn’t normally frequent. Enemy Cat was abroad. Protective owner of soppy tom cat runs to find the garden hose to eject Enemy Cat with high pressure water. Succeeds, and when replacing hose, loses balance temporarily and stands on hitherto not noticed piece of wood with nail poking out of it.

Thank goodness for Clarks sandals –thick sole. The nail went clean through the sole and into my big toe. Thankfully it only punctured my toe by a few milimeters, but as I think I was pre puberty the last time I had a tetanus injection, we got back into the car and went to the local hospital for a booster jab.

I am supposed to keep my foot elevated to alleviate the pain (some hope). I’d rather hop and get my chores in the house finished. But, given that today is in the 20’s, I think I might take a leaf out of the cat’s book later and flop in shady parts of the living room. I can snooze to the sound of cicadas.

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